Share your Calm
KINDNESS AND COMPASSION
I write this post to you from the early morning darkness of my office. My home office has become a designer's heaven for me over the past year. It’s where I paint my best colors. It’s where I visually tell the best stories and it's where I have many ideas come to me. I haven’t been here much lately with the recent state our world is in. We’re almost done with week 3 of COVID 19 stay at home restrictions.
SHARE YOUR CALM, DON’T TAKE ON THEIR CHAOS
I read something a few days ago about bringing our calm to our kids and not taking on their chaos. It stuck with me. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in a tantrum and to start feeling annoyed, pissed, and impatient. This applies even more now that we’re living in this stressful moment in time.
Over the past few days I have tried this new technique, when my son is crying for something and is having a hard time. Instead of getting annoyed, I get down to his level.
“Liam, come here, give me a hug. “
He always wants the hug, especially when he is upset, even if it’s me not giving him what he wants. I say, “I’m so sorry you’re upset right now, I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. I am a mommy and I can eat whatever I want, and I still don’t have cookies before lunch. This is just one of those house rules, it is what it is.“
I don’t yell - I use a really calm voice and look him in the eye. He loves getting extra hugs and attention from me. I realize the more I ask him if he needs a hug, and show him compassion to his difficult feelings, the quicker he snaps out of these tough moments. I also realized that he is getting better at asking for a hug on his own when he’s mad or frustrated, which is really cute!!
SWITCH THE SCRIPT
Now let’s switch that script for a second and focus the attention on me. I am having a hard time too. Unfortunately, it is what it is right now. I don’t have a choice in the matter, but I can give myself a hug. This hug can come in the form of meditating, a long shower, time with my husband, a walk around the neighborhood alone. Any way to show myself some kindness and compassion. What does it do? It brings me calm faster. And makes me want to do these things more often!
This all takes practice - I see myself getting better at it and yelling a little tiny bit less :)
We’re all doing the best we can to get through these days. Showing compassion to yourself and your family works all year round though - not just now. Take a deep breath and give that hug. Share your calm!! The world needs it right now!